


Away

by knightenchantress



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-31 04:45:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3964873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightenchantress/pseuds/knightenchantress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian flees the aftermath. Post: The Last Straw</p>
            </blockquote>





	Away

Sebastian Vael has not cried since he was a young lad and his parents would not let him sit at the royal family table during the annual Wintersend party.

Wintersend tied in nicely with the sudden celebration of his eldest brother being officially recognized as the crown prince of Starkhaven. All the noble families were there, many eager to display their children for the royal family to consider alliances over.

For the two eldest sons, of course.

If any asked where the third son was, the most common reply was, “what son?” followed by peals of laughter swallowed by the clinking of glasses.

Sebastian instead sat in his room with the door locked from the outside, struggling to keep his candle lit as he pored over his texts. While assuredly a studious child, the laughter and music pounded in his ears, drowning out his furious scrawling. 

He will  _not_  cry, will  _not_  admit it hurts. To be the son no one wanted.

As the candle snuffs out at last, Sebastian drops to his knees to fish another from his basket, when suddenly a droplet fell atop his hand... then another.

He is thirteen on his knees crying, alone in the dark, too proud to hope someone hears him over the joviality echoing throughout his home.

————

Sebastian does not cry when he drops to his knees, witnessing the slaughter of his family from a distance. Nor does he cry when he prays for their peace, however much his voice trembles. 

His eyes had been dry when his blood relations died, this had to be no exception,  _right?_

His hands shake the whole boat ride to the Gallows.

After the battle, he does not go to the chantry to help excavate, ignoring the weight of Aveline’s hand on his shoulder. He keeps walking, he needs to be away from this town. 

His ‘friends’ cannot bear to look at him any longer, not after his blood lust. After forcing Hawke’s knife into  _his_  back.

Not after their friend’s death.  _I thought I was your friend too?_

Maker preserve him, his eyes are burning. He is almost at the docks anyway. He can make it. There is nothing left in this city for him anyways.

_If things had been different.. let’s not think about that now._

Dust clings to his eyelashes, and he wipes furiously, making a sharp turn down the stone stairs, weaving past frantic elves and human alike.

_I will catch a boat back to Starkhaven and–_

His cowl is caught and he jerks back, panic flaring up. He has no knife on him and his  _bow_ -

 _Sebastian,_  comes a slow voice.

_Where are you going?_

Shoulders droop in relief, but he does not turn around, balefully eyeing his escape. The docks are right there, boats clamoring to arrive then depart with fleeing citizens. He will soon be one of them. 

Where is he going she asks?  _Back to Starkhaven of course._ His voice cracks, surely just from shouting and dust  _so much dust._

Her hand is on his bare arm, hot like an iron brand,  _You don’t have to leave, we still have time-_

Sebastian whips around glaring down at her blood caked face, those parted lips he’s felt against his trembling own  _(once, just the once)_ , her tired eyes searching his. He made her kill their friend, he had trusted them all and yet it took him threatening an army to make that  _monster pay -_

_You condone this!?_

Yanking out of her grip, Sebastian stumbles towards the docks, falling to his knees and his breath catches. How much of his life must be spent on his knees? Praying to the Maker, howling for justice?

Watching the dirt of Lowtown move under his fingertips, a droplet darkens the ground right next to his thumb.

_NO-_

Hawke is at his side instantly, armor clanking as she drops beside him.

 _I’m here._  Hawke pulls him close, strong against his resistance. He cannot cry, not in front of her -

_You are not alone._

Sebastian breaks.

He is twenty eight on his knees crying, this time, into the arms of the only person left who loves him.

**Author's Note:**

> whoops.


End file.
